Waiting Tables During COVID-19
An Industry Mom’s Perspective
The Coronavirus came down hard in America and the restaurant industry was impacted tremendously. I was one of the many millions that became unemployed in March 2020. For the first time in my life, I was furloughed from a restaurant I was employed at for 5 years. I had absolutely no idea that I would be out of work for 7 months. As a single mother, my anxiety certainly heightened and I often had sleepless nights because my thoughts kept me up. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to financially support my son. I did not know when I could return to work again. I wondered when restaurants would return back to normalcy.
At 34, I was forced to re-evaluate my life outside of the restaurant industry. I have been working in restaurants since I was 18. The industry was all I knew as I worked in restaurants all of my adult life. I thought perhaps I could work at a grocery store or clean people’s homes. Though, I knew better not to since I would have to search for a babysitter and the income after child care payments would be rather minimal.
Thankfully, I was able to find a job at a rooftop during the summer. It recently opened after the quarantine and I felt it was the best position to take since I knew it would be busy. Chicagoans do not take summer for granted as they take advantage of every sunny day. I was looking forward to getting back to work and I thought that surely after the quarantine, people would be more pleasant, but I was dead wrong. A guest literally yelled at me for not changing his plates even though I was trained not to switch out dirty plates. Another guest purposefully drank all her water every time I filled it so she can make me fill it each time. When I walked away from a table, a guest told her family that I was weird, thinking I didn’t hear. I’ve had reviews from guests that hurt my soul. I’ve been dehumanized and disrespected. Serving tables during the pandemic has been one of the most stressful events of my life and I am amazed that I am making it without pulling out all my hair.
I work late into the evening and wake up early to take care of my son. I go to work and deal with people that aren’t the friendliest or understanding of restrictions that are outside of my control. On one occasion, I had a guest have a tantrum and threaten me because I told him kindly that his two hour out by time has been met. He then pulled the, “my wife’s a food critic” card and stated that he will also write a bad review of his experience.
The many terrible stories I have won’t change the fact that people are people. We all have emotions that get the best of us, especially when we are stressed. The pandemic and current events especially raises everyone’s stress levels. Unfortunately, servers are the first lines of defense in terms of unhappy guests. Psychological projection can be demeaning especially if you’re at fault constantly. At the end of the day, even if I know I am not wrong, I still say I am sorry because I am in a people pleasing business. I certainly can’t please everyone but I can do my best to ensure that I tried. My passion to create a delightful experience with food, service, and hospitality dominate everything else. If someone is rude to me, I kill them with kindness because it is best to remain positive and not to take things personally. Yet, on some occasions I can’t help but do.
During the Chicago winter, the rooftop remained open as outdoor dining was still allowed. A guest asked me if I could move a heat lamp for her from another table but I could not as it can be hazardous and it was being used for another guest. I was aggravated because I was cold and frankly, my built up stress from work was getting the best of me as well. She wanted to move to an area where it was colder. I tried to explain to her that it was going to be more chilly because it was in a corner where the wind travels from both the east and west side. She insisted to sit there anyway and of course I obliged, because I just wanted to make her happy. The very next day, she wrote a review and I, at no surprise, was at fault. She said I rolled my eyes at her and I most certainly did not.
It as if servers are never allowed to feel and that we must be a robot by replying yes to every guest’s needs. Whatever the circumstance, we must always bite our tongue and it is by far the very reason our negative feelings become unresolved. If anything, guests have become more demanding than usual. On the other hand, there are few guests that are compassionate. They thank my service and are grateful for being able to dine out. I, in turn feel respected because I am recognized.
Every time I have a stressful moment at work, I close my eyes and I think about my son and his smile. That is my only saving grace and he remains my purpose in my life. Although, I am not sure if the amount of stress I deal with at work is worth my mental and physical well being. My feet and wrists ache as my body isn’t as youthful as it used to be. I am tired most of the time but I manage to go to work and do the best that I can. If anything, I feel powerless in terms of the way regulations are set in place. Only a set amount of guests can be in the restaurant due to capacity limitations. I also have to maintain the out by times and keep the flow moving for my tables. As a server, I am pressured to please guests and uphold the restaurant’s standards in the time that I have the table. All the while, I must follow the restaurant’s steps of service, sell specials, and keep my guests, chefs, and managers content.
Putting myself first and providing self care is something I am finally making a priority. I realized I need to put the same amount of energy into pleasing myself as I do pleasing everyone else. I had to step away from certain social gatherings as well because I was becoming overwhelmed. I spend most of my days working and when I am off, I spend time with my son or run errands. I put him to bed attempting to make time for myself but I become so tired from cleaning and taking care of him that I don’t have the energy to do something I enjoy.
I knew that the best thing to do was to ask for less hours since I was feeling burned out. I didn’t want to lose the hours but I knew that my well being is far more worthy. More importantly, my time with my son is something I will never get back. There were many times when I would fall asleep while playing with him because I was completely exhausted. I knew then that I had to make immediate adjustments to my work/life balance.
I thought about different activities that make me happy and realized that I should start writing again. I have been procrastinating to write this but there is no better time than right now to share my story. I was going to study for a test at work (yes some restaurants give out exams) but I can’t go to sleep with this burden because after all, I am only human.
